Waiting.......joyfully!

I'm so excited I found my old blog again!! It's http://www.fightingforthecause.blogspot.com/ ...it's still got everything there so PLEASE go and have a read at your leisure!!

So...I'm staying at the YOS house at the moment. For those of you who don't know what the heck the YOS house is...I used to work for The Salvation Army's Youth Outreach Service (YOS) with at-risk and homeless youth. We have 3 sites, an outreach, and also 2 accomodation sites. The Youth Pastor in my church, Steve, and his lovely wife, Emma, live in one of the houses as the house mentors. But they are away at the moment at Hillsong so I have the pleasure of staying here to house sit and hang out with the client in the house (there's only 1 at the moment).

Anyway...I've sat at this desk several times this week to use the internet and noticed that above the computer screen on a cork board there are some Bible passages. I've noticed them but not read them till tonight. Some of them really caught my attention. So, here they are...with a blog to follow.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book" - Psalm 56:8

"I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." - Psalm 62:5

"The Father sets those dates," he replied, "and they are not for you to know." - Acts 1:7

"You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me, for you, O God, are my place of safety." - Psalm 59:9

You know, if there's one word I REALLY dislike, it's the word WAIT!! Can't stand it!! Never have, and I'd like to say here that I never will...but I have a feeling that God will drum it into me until I LOVE the word!! haha! Let me be honest and bear a little of my soul...I HATE being single!! I've been in plenty of wrong relationships and I'd rather be single forever than meet and marry the wrong person...but sheesh...I feel like I'm going to be waiting FOREVER for Mr Right!! I, like most people, don't like to wait for things!! I'm not patient!! So, God telling me to wait for the one thing I've wanted my WHOLE LIFE - a husband and kids - is a REALLY BIG ASK!! haha...

But, here's the thing...anyone who knows me knows that my dream since I could dream was to be married with 2 kids by 25...I wanted to be a young wife and mum...I'm now 25 and no man in sight!! But you know, looking back I can see so many things that have happened in my life in the past 5 years since I've been a Christian that I really had to encounter as a single woman...so I really can't complain that it hasn't happened yet...although I have my moments. The truth is that right now I feel so ready for it...I'm at that age where everyone around me seems to be getting married or having kids and I feel a little left behind! I know it's stupid because I still know plenty of single people...but it's my biggest desire...so it's hard to wait!

Anyway...this is not a whinge session...there is a point here!! I promise!!! haha...I love the passages I shared above because, once again, God is reminding me to wait!! Now, as I said, I hate that word and normally it would reduce me to tears...and that's ok...because Psalm 56:8 says that the Lord keeps track of my sorrows (and desires) and he collects my tears and records each one! Isn't that so amazing!! He bottles up my tears and records my sorrows so that he can keep track of each one!! Amazing!!

I've been reflecting of late on something that God often asks me..."Jodi, if you had a man right now, what would you be doing? What would he give you that I can't give you? Why are you waiting to meet him before you start living your life?" Big questions huh?! I know that God has huge plans for me...and I believe with all my heart that one day that will include a family of my own...and I know that I was made for connection...but I also know without a shadow of a doubt that God HAS to be enough for me!! Because I could get married and a year later lose my husband in a freak accident and would God still be enough? I could be single for 10 more years...am I going to wait 10 years before I get on with life? Or am I going to bask in the glory of God and enjoy my life with HIM!! My first and last love! He's the lover of my soul...and I'm the apple of his eye...what more can a girl ask for?!

So, here it is...I'm not perfect, and this is still a real desire...I'm not going to pretend that I've now had this epiphony and that's that...because it's not that simple or easy...but I'm making a choice that from now on I will fight to wait patiently, quietly and joyfully before God...because my hope IS in Him and when I feel at my lowest He will give me the strength to keep going...he knows the date and the time I will meet my prince charming...and I wish I did too...but quite frankly, it's none of my business at this stage...my core business is just SERVING GOD...and he hears my prayers...he knows my heart...he bottles up my tears...he records them in his book along with all my concerns, desires, sorrows, fears, heartaches...he knows them all...and he will NEVER pass me by!! I trust Him completely!! He is my all in all!!